My Encouragement!!

Thursday, July 12, 2018

This song Reminds me of you..!

A song that reminds me of our good memories..
Finally I can remember our good moments.
This song my dear makes me want to make peace with you.
It draws me to the times I laughed my heart with you.
It draws me to those silent nights I slept in peace with you.
'We were meant to be' is what the song says,
I agree my lost love.
I can feel you through this song.
'You smile, your touch, your voice and each detail I could study' is what the song says; and foolishly I remember you.
It soothes the storm your thoughts get.
And the unpleasant emotions are somehow changed to the ones where I have been okay being so exposed.
It makes me wana come to you,
To be less uncomfortable, less egoistic and less hurt.
Our story didn't have a happy ending but
this song, this song makes me want to tell you that there should not be an end to us.
We can be present for each other without defining anything.
But when this song ends, so does those pleasing thoughts.
I comfort myself by saying lets not enter into a zone whose consequences we don't know.
I feel everything, yes I do.
But lets not let this song ruin the distance we have now.
Lets be happy momentarily in those shady good memories.
Lets be present in each other's absence.


Wednesday, July 4, 2018

At 3am

I am terrified of myself.
The one thing I could do So easily,
Why has it become so hard to do?
At 3am I am anxiously pacing
On the terrace not knowing how
I feel!
I am trying to breathe and I am panting
Trying to get all choked up.
But the tears don't seem to run.
What have I lost?
Is this me being a bipolar.
Or I constantly see myself in mania.
Or is it that nothing seems happy or
Sad enough!
Anxious at 3am, the rain is giving me the chills.
I am dying to cry but I feel
Like a desert who has eaten up its oasis.!
Or else why would I be staring at empty roads not knowing,
Not knowing why am I this
restless at 3am.!

Thursday, June 28, 2018

I am hurting

I am hurting.
I am burning but not a pinch of pain
I feel.
It seems
I am on fire in water...!

I am sinking.
And the struggle for air is not that hard
But I want to hit rock bottom.
I want to breathe while drowning..!

That feeling of jumping of the edge.
Standing on a cliff I want to push myself.
I console me, its to fly.
Insane me. I want to soar while falling down..!

I am my contrast.
I am my regret.
I am my life and I am my death.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Monsoon

The sky cried heavy today
She saw it from her window..
Monsoons- The season she hates..
Trying to reason out why?

Just as the storm out there..
She hopes it floods her heart
And destroys it to the extent
Nothing grows again..
That it becomes a swarm
Useless and not walked upon..

She doesn't remember when
It came to hating monsoon so much..
There are memories she suppressed..
And there are memories she can't remember..
Which one got her to despise it..

The lightening roars and she ain't
A bit scared..
She is as cold as pouring rain..
She doesn't cry anymore
Is she jealous of the clouds
Who can shed tears and she
Has forgotten how to..

May be she hates monsoon
Because she finds herself so similar to it..
The chaos it gets.. Just as inside her.
The loud thunder.. Just as inside her..
The inability to see things clear.. Just as her..
To be loved by few and to be hated by few..
Not knowing whom to destroy..
Or destroy what comes in the way..
She resembles the Monsoon..
May be that's why she hates it to the core..
Only if she loved her chaos
Only if she loved her monsoon..

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Wait

I remember you,
I remember waiting on new years eve
for your call to wish me,
I wanted to start the year listening to your voice..
So I waited and hours passed by
Sun rose and came another day without
Knowing your whereabouts.

If I ask you what you remember of me?
I know you will say all our good times.
If you ask me what I remember about you?
All I remember was me waiting.
From dusk to dawn, day after day
All I remember was me waiting.

It didn't seem to end.
There were times I thought you'd
Just surprise me by your unannounced
Visit.
I imagined in my head how that would be
So I waited.
There were times when I hallucinated. Staring at your look-a-like faces,
I thought you passed by.
And I cried every day.
Million times my phone rang
And every time I hoped
It was you calling.
But you never did.
So I waited.
Day after day
Months after months.
Every occasion and every normal day.
I waited like a fool.
And you never came.
This is what I remember of you.
It was tiring.
I waited for so long.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Rains

Every year the first rains
bottled up my sorrow
And I cried a river full of tears..
This time it seems
There is nothing more to grieve over..
So I cried dried up tears....

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

This is love

Dream away he said,
Soar high and do what
you have to do,
You will always have me
to fall back on!!
If this is not love, what is!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

I am not a robot!

I love you is so simple to say,
But what happens when you realize
What those words truly mean.
How bluntly there were times
when you said it without knowing
What it really feels.

May be you need to loose a few times
To know the passion those words
really bring.
To have experienced pain of loosing it
to the world,
To have to let it go when all you want to do is endure it.
To have to say goodbye when you desperately seek their presence
wherever you go.

I love you! I have said it a few times
But when was the last time I truly
meant it.
Losses are meant to scar.
And love is meant to heal them.
But then there are times when
you are someone else's love
And someone else's sadness.
What do you then?
Whom do you pick?
Answers just don't come by
and when they come by
either the timing is wrong
Or the world has set its
irreversible phase.

You are stuck forever wondering
Will you ever get one chance to
make it right?
And by fate if you'd get one
Will you make the same mistake again?

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Your Absence

So tell me
How it is that your day goes by?
My absence
Has it made any difference?
Giving you a chance to
Live through what I
Have been living for ages...!
But I know
How indifferent you can be.!
It didn't matter then
It won't matter now..
The void will stay
no matter the glamor life carries around..
You haven't missed me
The way I had missed you..!
Every second stabbed the beating
Heart only to bleed and bleed tears..
You will not know the price
I have paid to love you..
Neither will you acknowledge
How the absence takes away
the bits and pieces of soul
Wanting to be rescued,
Only to realize the more I tried
To free myself
The more I sunk in destruction ,
And the less you and your presence
mattered.

Monday, May 7, 2018

Thoughts for soul

'Change' can never define love..

Neithr can 'adjustments'..