My Encouragement!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

I Promised Myself.

She smiled at him from a distance "Sorry" she said "Too much traffic." "Looking at how stunning you look right now, i wouldn't mind waiting more."he said. She blushed and they were off with their conversation. "Can i ask you something personal? It may be too early you know. You can refuse to answer if you have a problem with it." she asked. "Go ahead." he said. "Well, you know i have been going through your Facebook profile. Don't mind. It seems there was someone in your life right? What happened?" she asked. He sat there quiet not looking into her. She was waiting patiently, giving him the time to make his decision whether he should come clean.
                        "Yes. I did. I really loved her." he said. "But we have said our goodbyes. I am leaving it all behind." "That's good" she said undisturbed "Just tell me what went wrong?" "My family didn't support me on this." he answered. "So you just left her?" she questioned him. "I had to. I had no choice." he said. "You always always have a choice"her voice raised. "How does it matter now? I told you i am leaving it all behind."
                        She sat there unmoved, stunned, praying he'd not be that guy. But he was 'that guy'. "That's it. Just like that you left her." she said. "It was an easy decision, wasn't it." "Why do you care so much about the past? he asked. "Yes oh dear. I care. I care because i know how it feels to be in that position. Because i know how it feels to be abandoned by reasons that make no sense. Because i know how it feels to be left out bleeding when he takes a decision to side by his family or shitty lame excuse of some career and not you. I have been there my dear in that exact same situation and i have been hurt. So don't ask me why i care? I care cause i promised myself i would find me a person who would commit, who would know when to stand by me. I promised myself i am not gonna destroy myself to another coward, to another run away. I promised myself i would find myself that one person on whom i could fall not having to doubt if he'd be there to catch me. I know my worth. I know i am worth a lot, that i am a good person and i didn't deserve this crap in the first place. I promised myself i am not going to let that happen to me again. So dear just tell me if you couldn't fight for that one best person you actually truly loved, how the hell do you expect me to believe you will ever fight for the next best thing? and she left the scene.    
                     

Friday, July 25, 2014

Her soul mate!

Lonesome and in closed walls
she sat not knowing what to feel...
She found him leaving her heart
she found herself happy...

Her soulmate was he..
His presence was everything..
And the betrayal she thought she'd never get over
slowly seemed nothing...

She loved him..
She loved him like crazy..
And now she struggled with his memories...

So she revived him by seeing their pictures together
May be this could make her miss him she thought..
But all she felt was a painful silence..
All she could revive was her painful past...


May be she was over her soulmate..
May be she was over him..
She deserved to be happy alone..
Never she imagined a day would come
where she would struggle to remember
how it felt being close to him...







Sunday, April 20, 2014

Two States - Same State!

She walked into her room with words running her mind, desperate to pen them down she opened her heart and mind once again after a long gap of wordless living. A lot had happened over past few months. As busy as she was she had to give her mind its way to peace. She had to write.
             A day before she had been to this movie 2 States with her friends. If two people so different from different states could give a meaning to their relationship than why couldn't she and him from the same state, so alike couldn't? She remembered telling him we are suppose to watch this movie together to realize there was no together later. May be a part of her always knew he was going behave the same, no matter how many chances you give someone to correct their mistakes they are going to hurt you someday. A year back he broke it off saying he needed time, he needed to set his life straight. So she let him go. She was almost over him when he knocked on her door again begging her to give him a second chance and she did. Well! Her friends weren't happy. Obviously they wouldn't be. They had seen her suffer day and nights long and they didn't know why was she throwing herself in the painful pit yet another time. She had her reasons. In life may be you need to commit the same mistake again to make yourself believe that it was a mistake the first time.  She had to know if he could make this work for them. That she had made a right choice before choosing him as the one. May be after all the disappointments he could change her mind about him for once. May be later she didn't wanna regret or think 'What If she had given him a second chance?'

                   She still remembered the day he stood in front of her after eight long months. God! she had missed him so much. She gave a ear his side of story, his explanations and his tears. She heard all of it even the things he did not say. For a brief moment of time she relived those old memories which were suppressed in anger and hatred. She felt happy again, the feeling of belonging to someone, the feeling of telling someone how the day went, the feeling very close to love. She knew this was gonna end soon for she knew him. And yet again very true to her expectations he deceived her one more time. The same lame excuses were told, the same family issues shared. The only thing different this time was she held herself strong and it was she who broke it off now. She had to get out of this constant torture not knowing where her life was headed. She had to get out of his fake persona of him trying to figure out a way for them cause she could see there was no good future with him .That he is going to be a looser, he is going to be that person who can never take a stand and she didn't want to spend her life with some one so incapable of fighting for her. She deserved a lot better. May be in life for once you need to give your past another chance just to see if it could change your future and if it doesn't, you are happy you to know the past doesn't stand a chance in your future.
                   There are times when she misses him a lot, times when her eyes roll down a tear in his love. There is a part of her that always will be his. But sadly his bad luck its just 'a part' of her heart that will be his.




   

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Vows and Promises

So now i am starting over..
and i hear all these new promises..
I smile unknowingly at your genuine vows...
thinking should i tell "I have already heard all these?"

I have been in love so deep
I have been head over heels
I have been promised true love
I have been deceived...

So when you are pledging for a forever
Let me tell you they don't last..
All i need is you to commit
and hold on when life seems to fall apart...

So be with me as if each day and every hour
you feel you are destined to be with me...
As if you and i can't be different souls..
As if not finding me around makes everything less worth..
and even with differences i can count on your every word..

I promise i will love you like no one has ever...
I promise nothing will be extinguished or forgotten..
As long as you will live i will be in your arms..
Just make me believe there can be a forever...

So now am starting over..
Starting over with you...
Praying silently You be 'the one'
who keeps his promises...
You be 'the one'
i have been searching all these years...
You be 'the one' whose heart aches to see me in tears...








Saturday, November 23, 2013

A Withered Rose

She turned pages
and found a withered rose..
She remembered him
and her heart froze

She cried till she choked
as she revoke her past..
Her eyes tumid and red
Cursed his existence till the last...

He broke her heart
He broke his promises..
He broke her faith
He broke her...

She stared at the withered rose
mindlessly For hours
In silence she screamed 'Why?'
She dared not to ask...

A rose shook her sturdy heart
A rose made her shed a million tears..
A rose made her realize she still loved him
A rose made her realize he was not worth all...

She sat all hushed and mum..
Her heart still hurting..
She looked at the wrinkled flower
ans She looked at herself
Just like this parched blossom she thought
Let this Love fade away......


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Miserable In Her Own Way

She hears her own words
cause he started the story and forgot to finish it...
She makes her self smile
cause he once made her laugh and left her with ocean of tears...
She keeps herself busy
cause doing nothing haunts her mind with his thoughts...
She lives with no emotions..
She lives for reasons she doesn't understand....
She misses him to no extent
Neither can she live with him
nor can she live without him....





Sunday, August 11, 2013

There Are Days When I.....

There are days when I
console the storm inside...
Days when I say to me
I am fine, I don't need you by my side..
Days when I put up a smile
and walk the thorns on my own...
Days when I be brave
to step in unexpected and deal with it all alone..
Days when I try not to
remember your deceitful promises...
Days when I hope I be strong
living your mistakes of taking the defeat...

Then there are days when I
can't console the storm inside...
Days when I breakdown
to find you not by my side....
Days when I cry a hundred tears
and bleed on the thorns you left me to walk on..
Days when I be hopeless
in the unexpected alone...
Days when the pain doesn't end
when I think of your deceitful promises...
Days when I wish
you never should have been a part of my life....

Days when I hate you and I love you...
Days when I hate myself for loving you...








Monday, August 5, 2013

Falling In Love With You

I smile all day
and smile when you say 'Darling, you are the one'
In my mind i dance a slow tune
And I can't help falling in love with you...

I walk our time with you
and You hold my hand and say 'Darling,be safe'
In my heart a warmth gives in
And I can't help falling in love with you...

I push you away
And You caress my lips and say 'Darling,let me stay.I insist.'
I look at you with a frail depth
And I can't help falling in love with you..

So i fumble and error
every time you are around..
You watch me faze my every move and say 'Darling,I adore you'
And I can't help falling in love with you...

I smile all day
I smile when you are not there
I smile when you look at me
I smile always
So this is how it feels falling in love with you....






Saturday, August 3, 2013

Best friends Conversation 2


"You said no to marry me. How dare you?" she clobbered him in a corner.

"What?"  he almost screamed "Marry You?".

"Your parents came to my house, asked  my hand to my folks. They said they will break off your current engagement because they know their son will be happy with me. So everything goes so smoothly, the engagement date is fixed. All the arrangements done. Suddenly you come to me and you say 'I don't love you. I won't be able to love you and that I want to call off this engagement. How dare you?" she yelled.

"And when did all this happen?" he asked her politely.

"Well in my dreams" she replied. " But how dare you say no to me even if its in my dream?" she made her sad little face.

He laughed so hard.

"You are insane. I will never do that. I will be the most happiest person if we get engaged." he said getting her close in his arms."I love you too much to ever say no to you."

"Yeah, I know that. Sad you are getting married to someone else though. We could have been a perfect couple ." she brushed his hair.

"Hey how about an extra marital affair? We can always do that" he asked her.

She laughed. "Your wife better like me. You know how it is with the girls and me especially when they are my best friend's girl friend.. There is a big history of they ending up not liking me."

"Oh, she has too." he said.

"We will see about that. You guys all change. You obey their orders like under some evil spell" she said.

"Hey i have known you for more than ten years. You have been there when were in junior college playing truth or dare, when i broke up with a wicked witch, was jobless. You spent hours talking to me when i had nothing to do just to give me company. You were always there. So if she can't understand this, she my dear won't understand me" he said.

"Not as much as you were. What would i have done without you in these last two horrible years? I owe you so much" she said. "As long as she doesn't eat your head am okay."

"I love you" he said.

"I love you too. Just let me get married first please." she said

"I will try. That fellow who ever he will be has to undergo a lot of surveillance. He better watch out" he said.

"Just don't scare him off. I wanna get married some day." she laughed.



Sunday, July 21, 2013

Night O Night Fade Away

I can't complain... I can't breathe.. I can't smile.. I can't live.. And yet i go on.. Walking on a pathless way.. Walking on a love tomb.. She Thought .... With this dark night comes in our good memories and they shadow my smile to wish we never had met.....She Thought . She buries her Head in the pillow 
and cries the night 
hoping it would smother her 
by accident Cold weary night it is.. she thought As cold as his promises.. She Thought...
She looks out the window.. There are dead soles wishing for life..  
and the living souls are 
breathing as the dead.... She Thought She couldn't hold his thoughts away.. 
How can a planned lifetime be forgotten in days... She Thought Move on they tell her.. 
She laughs.. 
Be at my place..hold my pain See how it feels.. She Thought.. This night o night fade away.. I sleep with no love..  
I wake up with no life.. She Thought