My Encouragement!!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

when at the movies!!

i was with you in the dark
watching people move on the screen
all i could think was how would life be
without you holding my hand when i lean.

a hundred times i looked at you
when you were staring at the screen
happy to see the smile on your face
happy to see you quote the songs and sing..

in the dark was the magic moment
when you put your arms around
and i could listen to those silent beats
as if there was no other sound...

i cried silently in the dark
cause i knew once its over you would go
i wiped those tears silently in the dark
so my fear you wouldn't know....

how i never wanted those few hours to end
how i never wanted to get in the light
how i wished i could make the time stop
so you would always be by my side!!

Friday, February 17, 2012

what will it take!!

i am trying hard to get you back
but you seem so distant and aloof
and i wonder in the dark
is it me or its just life's another spoof.

i'm smiling cause that's what you want,
i call and say "how are you, i'm fine".
the truth is its hurting bad,
but for you i'm keeping my pain aside..

what will it take to get you back
what will it take to know what's on your mind
what will it take for you to see my ache
what will take to let you know i love you deep inside

just come back for me to live..
nothing interests me no more...
the distances just don't seem to end
i sit alone in the dark with tears of no soul...

but i'm tired of fighting alone for love every time
and i'm tired to be the one to care
i'm tired of all the excuses you give to escape
i'm tired of consoling things will get better,just wait!

i love you cause you a get a smile on my face
i love you because you lighten up my world
i love you for all the stupid conversations we had
i love you for the thousands of kisses you gave.

no one can understand me the way you do
no one can make me live the way you do
i need you for us,i know i complete you
i need you for a life,can't live without you.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

happy valentines day!!

She saw him standing there,looking at her. Her footsteps paced and she raced towards him wiping those tears. He took her in his arms. "Hey,hey. What happened?' he asked. She couldn't speak. She sobbed like a three year old, her eyes swollen, cheeks red. She tried hard to let the words out but she was so grieved that every time she tried saying something she choked. He stood there silent with the girl in his arms, neither asking nor comforting.
            Hours later they laughed. "Remember that jerk made you pay for the date and once he said he had to 'study' so he couldn't come for a weekend trip with you, as if those books were gonna do him any good. He wasn't even that bright" he said. "I know. What a jerk" she laughed about it. "Where do you even find such nuts?" he asked. "I don't know. I just choose the good 'bad boys'. My bad" she continued "I wish it would have lasted a few more days  until valentines day."  He looked at her with mouth wide open. For him it was one of the most ridiculous thing to hear. "What,are you crazy?"he almost yelled. She knew it was a stupid thing to say but she really meant it. she continued explaining  "I never celebrated valentines dear. When i look at other people,it makes me sad. I never had someone to love me like that. For once in my life i wish i had that head over heels cheesy valentine" and within no time tears rolled down her eyes. "oh oh! please don't cry. Now it took me a lot of efforts to get you to smile", he said.
           They were best friends. They had been together for years. They understood each other more than anyone could. Others thought they would make a perfect couple but for them they knew this was it 'friends forever'.
           The day came she feared of all. It was valentines day and love was in the air. She already had it planned, sit at home and do nothing. She got a text from her friend " Be ready. Will pick you up in an hour". She wore a tee, jeans, brushed her hair and waited for him . He came up dressed all good and tidy. He saw her and yelled "What the hell are you wearing, go put on your best dress. For god's sake i am taking you on a date." "What!" she yelled "Have you gone crazy? "she asked. "Now do what i say" he pushed her back in her house "It's Valentines day. Time to make it 'Our Day'.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

when in a break up!!

So that's it,its over!!! she said. "Okay,if you say so",he replied with a straight face. she stared at him for a reaction,for a confrontation,may be even a war..but he stood there embracing silence. after a brief period he said "if you think things won't work between us,you can leave. this is how it is going to be always." All she wanted was for him to find time from his busy schedule,once without her begging him to. She was angry,frustrated and defeated,pushed in the same scenario she was years back. "goodbye then",he said. she smiled a bye and she came home;confused,hurt.
                Time wasn't the only criteria to call it off . he seemed aloof lately,not responding,not caring,not calling which wasn't the case always.before he missed her,asked to meet,called to sort out a fight.but now circumstances were different. he didn't look happy and she sensed it.
                she knew love like no other. the bondage,the burden of commitment,the slavery. she knew this phase would come where things won't be interesting enough,where all possibilities have been explored,all secrets spilled out and they would be left with nothing but each other. only a handful of men could sustain this,others would find every way to escape out.
                she was prepared. yet something was different with this guy.she expected him not to be like the rest. she expected him to call back and say "let's think this all over". she expected him to miss her, to come out of blue and surprise her. but he didn't ,reality didn't hurt as much the expectations did!! he was a good guy. for the first time she felt she was in a real relationship where things could mend themselves even when it went horribly wrong. she didn't deny that it wasn't her fault. but she wanted to know how much this relation meant to him,could he go out of way to save it,whether she mattered to him to the extent she thought she did. she waited hours and days for a call,a tiny note of 'hi,how are you'. but she had been a fool,as she had been always. he backed out when he should have stayed.he accepted to part when all she wanted was for him to hold on,give a reason for the behavior and get back the differences to normal.
              there she was alone all over again. loneliness was never a problem. she had had enough setbacks in life to stand strong. the only thing she was afraid of was that he would say "please,come back. i am sorry" when she would've moved on,never to look back.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

deciding what you exactly want!!!!

decisions are hardest to make.. right wrong is the later part.. deciding what you exactly want is the hardest. she had to choose between her mediocre love or a well settled man who had a lifestyle she loved,she craved for.
            her guy barely matched her standards,she was way better at everything than him.but he was the guy who would love her forever,who would stand by her no matter what.. the reason she fell for him was his simplicity.he was loyal,kind and compassionate. but she had dreams. she knew the other was a golden key to everything she ever wished for.she could travel the world with him,be at places she always dreamt of,meet people,be a part of something different,something creative. be attached yet independent with no family issues to look after.
           she thought of her love.. yes,she loved him for what he was but if she chose him she would compromise and give up her deepest desires.. and if she went with the latter she would be called a gold digger.she wasn't even sure if she could live with the betrayal.but he had the power to free her of her bonds,the dumb old traditions she always hated,the interference and uninvited advices she despised.but she was aiming in thin air there.
          what if she had everything but no love. would she be fine with it. with her love she knew things will be tough but things will work out in the end,but with the latter she knew nothing.all could turn out excellent or all could be a disaster. was she willing to take the risk? to start all over again?
          she decided to leave it on fate. may be with time she will know what she wants. till then she chose to live in the dilemma. she needed to give love the time it needed to settle,to let her know that her sacrifices are worth it!! for once she needed to give love a chance to prove itself !!!